Time Flies!

Ten months old now, and still the perfect little boy. Already crawling and your personality is starting to shine too.
This picture was taken a few weeks ago by a good friend and work colleague of mine, she too was enthralled by you. Hoping to see the full results soon.
It's coming up to a milestone date in our calendar, September 15, this will be the day your great granddad would have reached the 80 mark. To go just shy of four-score was quite an achievement in itself. He would have loved to watch you grow as I do, nothing gave him more pride than to watch his family and you would have been no exception in this, except I think he would have made a special place in his heart for such a lovely boy!
Your second ride in a front-facing car seat this week and I could feel your aprehension at the event, you don't need to worry, I wouldn't let you come to any harm, and I'm sure you'll soon come to love trips out in a car, as most kids do.

Summertime

And the living is easy! Well, it never is really, but the song did say that, and Ken would sing a couple of bars on occasion, especially in his back garden when we were having a cuppa or a little game of crazy golf with great granny and your aunty Shana.
I have been busy researching my (our) tree, following three lines at the same time - with mixed results. I've made some headway on your great granny's side, with her fathers and grandmothers sides. Not a lot on Kens tree though, I have been looking for a certain person for some time now, he appeared as if from nowhere!

Anyway, that's part of my other blog, this is for you. Today has been busy, your mum arranged a photo shoot with one of my work colleagues, and you were the star of the show! I can't wait to see the pictures that are the result. Gt granddad would be so proud of you - I know, because I am too!

Some time later

Well Zander, you have now reached the ripe old age of 6 months, and I cannot remember seeing such a happy, contented baby. You (and me) have your mum Louise to thank for that, I can honestly say I have also never seen such an adoring mother, you are her world and I hope you will learn to appreciate that and not take advantage as so many of the young do these days.
The pain of losing Ken is slowly subsiding, though there are still times when something sets a tear in my eye, nothing much, a particular song or sound, a sight, anything can trigger a memory of your great granddad.
The memories however don't fade. I spent last Monday clearing out his garage, making room and removing any rubbish that had accumulated since Ken became ill, not able to drive or even decide what was wanted and what not. Old doors, chairs etc, lots of stuff, 4 car-loads so far and still not complete. I found all the pieces to a chain saw, one he never used as he couldn't remember where he'd put all the bits, and the garage was such a mess we couldn't find it all - not that I'd have let him use it anyway, he probably wasn't capable of cutting wood by then.

The end of an era

He was a family man, a proud man, and a fighter, but the thing I will remember most of all about the last few months was his grit. He never complained about the pain he must have been feeling, and was always pleased to see a familiar face at his bedside.
I shed a tear or two today - it was impossible not to for this giant of a man. He always had my respect, I don't remember him ever doing anything to move this from my heart and I pray that I will be judged to be half the man he was, if I am I will be proud of my lot. And if you are too I shall be just as proud.

Well Zander, the big, big man this blog is all about has passed on today. The 3rd of December 2009 will go down in the family archives as the day of days. It is your father's birthday, your great granny's birthday too, and also now marks the passing of two of your forebears, Kenneth Ernest Nichols, your great grandfather, and also his dad, your great, great grandfather Wilfred Nichols. It's strange how things happen with dates.
Never fear the approach of this day though, neither he nor I would want that. It should always be a special day to you, it marks things that bind your family together, births and deaths are intertwined and whilst you should treat it with respect it's also a time to celebrate.

Marathon darts

Another thing with your great granddad was that he loved his whisky, and would often as possible drink it. He put away a bottle of Jonnie Walker Red Label once, saying he'd drink it only when his first grandson was born. That bottle was stuck away in the bottom of the wardrobe for more years than I can care to remember, both me and Geoff (my older brother, your great uncle) had two girls and no boys so it was down to gt uncle Michael to do the deed, which he duly did when Tyler came along in about 1993.

Another new year that I remember was when his friend Jimmy had his son James and his family staying over the holiday period, they were at our half-way house for the first-footing after the pubs shut and his two grandkids were making themselves useful, taking the empty glasses and getting them refilled. After a few hours it was time for the whole troupe to make their way to Jimmy & Freda's for more steak pie and first-footing, and the grandkids again made themselves useful, refilling the glasses. One thing this did was keep everyone drinking - lots! Both me and Ken were on the whisky, and it was going down by the tumbler full, no shots! I remember we got into some sort of discussion which almost turned into an argument, so we decided that when the Royalist (pub) opened that evening we'd have a game of darts to settle it.

Well, we were both so drunk it was difficult to even see the board, let alone score, and it must have been some sort of record, but that single game of 301 took almost two hours, both of us ending up on double 1, and neither being able to hit it for love nor money. In the end, with all the family and friends begging us to give up, Ken hit it with a lucky shot. He never let me forget that he'd beat me, even though it was nothing to be proud of.

Drunken serenades

In Mkt Harborough Working Mens' Club there was a group of ex-pat Scots who used to congregate at one end of the bar - it was nick-named "Scot's Corner", mum and Ken used to be 'honorary members' having a lot of Scottish friends. Notably John and Jeanette Milligan, and Jimmy & Freda Pitkeithley. When we lived in Nithsdale Avenue it was part-way between the town centre and where Jimmy and Freda lived and we were often subjected to a 'carry-out' party with a crowd of their pals descending on the front room to play music, sing and drink some more (this was when the pub opening hours were 6.30pm - 11.pm on Saturdays) as there were no long opening hours in those days. It was commonplace to have a roomful of 10 to 15 people in all stages of drunkenness. The main thing in all of this was that there was rarely any trouble, all being more than happy to sing and drink rather than argue. Mind you, your great granny would make sure they stayed in line!

New years day was the highlight of these 'gatherings'. Mum would put a steak pie of massive proportions in the oven first thing in the morning, then her and my aunty Betty would go out along with Freda and any other of the wives who were up for it, whilst Ken would meet his Scots pals for drinks in the club. Come closing time (about 3.30pm at those times) they would all make their way back, "first footing" at our house. Mum would serve up the steak pie along with potatoes and peas while Ken would fetch out a bottle of his favourite tipple, whisky! These days were a real family occasion, with all their friends and their offspring, sometimes over 30 people crammed into a small front room. The whole scene was bedlam on occasion, but I never missed these special days, breaking off from my own celebrations with my pals to make sure I got back in time for some pie!

If the mood was really special Jimmy and Ken would take it in turns to sing, Jimmy's favourite was "My Way" by Frank Sinatra, where he would knock the light fitting whilst singing, Ken's was "Ruby" by Kenny Rogers. This didn't stop anyone else from taking a turn, but it's these two I remember above all others.

You've painted up your lips
And rolled and curled your tinted hair
Ruby are you contemplating
Going out somewhere

The shadow on the wall
Tells me the sun is going down
Oh Ruby
Don't take your love to town

It wasn't me

That started that old crazy Asian war
But I was proud to go
And do my patriotic chore
And yes, it's true that
I'm not the man I used to be
Oh, Ruby I still need some company

Its hard to love a man
Whose legs are bent and paralysed
And the wants and the needs of a woman your age
Ruby I realize,
But it won't be long i've heard them say until I not around
Oh Ruby
Don't take your love to town

She's leaving now cause
I just heard the slamming of the door
The way I know I've heard it slamming
Some 100 times before
And if I could move I'd get my gun
And put her in the ground
Oh Ruby
Don't take your love to town

Oh Ruby for God's sake turn around

The only time

The one and only time I have heard that Ken sort of "lost it" was when Michael (Gt Uncle) was still at school. He brought home a letter once and when opened mum was fuming! It was from the deputy headmaster "Basher" Andrews as we'd called him, a big man with quite a temper - he had played opposite "Pancho" Pearson (PE teacher) once in the staff/pupils rugby match and gave Pancho two black eyes! Anyway, the letter stated that he'd given Michael the cane for smoking whilst walking down Burnmill Road wearing his school uniform. Mum was all ready for going up there and giving him a piece of her mind (and a lashing with the cutting edge of her tongue) but couldn't get any time off work to do so. Ken said he'd go up and have a word. Mum wasn't too happy about that but had to give way, but thinking that Ken would be his gentle affable self and not make too much of a fuss over it.

Imagine her (and our) surprise when he came home and related what had happened in the meeting. It had all started off fairly innocuous but Basher made the mistake of gloating over the fact he'd caned Michael, Ken did something then that mum has always been proud of, he grabbed Basher by the lapels and dragged him across the desk between them. "I've never had cause to hit any one of my sons, so don't ever think it is something you can do, no matter what the reasons!" It still makes me smile when I remember that, it was so unlike him, but at the same time so true to what he believed in - he has never hit any of us kids, not when we were small or when grown up, it's something he never needed to do, for one reason we wouldn't give him cause to - if something was said it was meant and we never needed another reminder, but nothing was ever meant with any malice, just to make sure we knew where the line was and not to cross it.

I don't think anyone else stood up to Basher like that, either before or since, though he never stayed long at Robert Smyth school after that!